Kmart is trying to kill me!
This weekend the GF and I stopped by the big K to pick up Halloween candy for the locals. I hate big stores like WalMart and KMart and (to a lesser extent) Target. Partly because they are evil, but mostly because there are just too many god damn people in the stores at all times.Anyway, while we were there the GF pointed out a very hip looking shower curtain. I've needed a new shower curtain for a long time, mostly because my current one is really really gay. I didn't know it was so gay when I bought it. I was fooled by the packaging. But it is seriously gay. So I saw this hip beach-sunset shower curtain and thought, "that is very not-gay. It would look great around my shower!"
I bought it and took it home, and forgot about it for a while.
Tonight, it tried to kill me.
I took down the old gay curtain and unwrapped the new one. Immediately I was hit with the strong smell of latex and paint. It smelled like a brand new inflatable raft. I took it into my little bathroom and started to hang it up.
The smell grew stronger. And stronger.
Suddenly I realized that my lungs and eyes were burning, and I was dizzy. I left the bathroom and got some water... but the smell followed me out. My apartment is tiny and the smell was rapidly filling every available space. I ran back into the bathroom and turned the shower on in the hopes that it would dilute the stench. It didn't work. I ran out of the bathroom and shut the door behind me, then stuck my face in front of the air conditioning vent to get some fresh air. But it was no use, the smell was everywhere. I couldn't see. My eyes were watering. My lungs ached. I ran back into the bathroom, and with my last ounce of strength I ripped the shower curtain down and threw it into the tub, letting the shower water pour over it. But this only made things worse. Finally I grabbed the wet pile of curtain, ran out of the apartment, and threw the damn thing down the trash chute.
Now I'm sitting here and my head is still spinning. I have the A/C up to full blast but the smell is going away very slowly. I want to barf! Also, I am super high from the fumes. I am amazed that I am typing this right now. Maybe I'm not even typing. Maybe I am passed out on the floor with a bloody nose. All I know is I bet tomorrow I'm going to wake up with a wicked headache tomorrow and no recollection of what happened. And I'm sure I will be confused as to what happened to my shower curtain.
So, long story short... Fuck Kmart.
posted by averagejoe @ 11:47 PM
2 Comments:
Jesus, do you have a latex allergy? An innocent night turned into utter debauchery.
You got sick from opening up a shower curtain? That's so NOT gay.
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